5 Steps to Stop the People Pleasing

For any of us trying to build an online ministry, we know all too well the struggle with people pleasing. Christianity is not a private affair. My responsibility to Christ reaches past the relationship between the two of us. It pushes me out into the community to build relationships with everyone else.

That’s where I struggle.

I want to be liked and accepted by other people. I want to be relevant and make connections so that I’m embraced within the friendship circle. More than that, I want to build an online ministry to help the hurting or fill a need whenever and wherever I can.

Will people pleasing help us build an online ministry?

How much of ourselves should we sacrifice to keep the crowds happy?

How far should we go to please our coworkers, family, or friends?

Will pleasing the masses help build an online ministry or help us extend our reach and grow?

Though God is pleased by our attempts to love and help others, He gives us boundaries within our relationships to protect our purpose.

5 Steps to Stop the People Pleasing

1. Worry about yourself.

It’s not selfish to worry first about yourself. That’s why a flight attendant warns us to secure our oxygen masks before helping another. It’s the only way you can ever be helpful. Whether you’re trying to build an online ministry or just share God’s message with friends, your first priority is to put on your own oxygen mask and take a breather.

We breathe in God’s Word.

We listen to His voice.

We pray for His guidance in every situation.

We confess our sins. We align our lives within His truth.

[Tweet “The growth of our community depends on the growth within His sanctuary. via @MitziCSmith”] 

We are His temple. We submit our bodies to His service and then we follow His lead.

2. Realize Your Limits

You will never please the masses–not all of them and certainly not all of them at the same time.

God has equipped you for a certain purpose right now. He provides everything you need in the place He’s commissioned you to serve.

“For with God nothing will be impossible.” Luke 1:37

[Tweet “You limit yourself when you rely on anyone but God for approval. via @MitziCSmith”]

3. Set your priorities

What are your goals?

What are you trying to accomplish?

[Tweet “God lights the path. We choose where to step. via @MitziCSmith”]

Knowing your purpose gives you the confidence to walk in the right direction–without wasting time on anything else.

Know your limits and set your priorities accordingly.

4. Say no

I was once a victim to never say no.  And it cost me.

Even my attempts to say no was fumbled with excuses. You know what I’m talking about.

I didn’t want to disappoint others. I worried I would be rejected. I feared others would see me as less than perfect.

After creating for myself an endless to-do list to please the masses, I realized I wasn’t pleasing anyone. There were too many obligations!

Sometimes, there are legitimate reasons to just say, “No.”

No need to give a list of excuses.

No need to feel guilty or second rate.

Saying no allows time to accomplish God’s purpose.

You have the right to say that simple 2-letter word–no.

5. Please God

“For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

I’m now a recovering people pleaser.

I’ve learned to seek God first and let Him decide my plans.

No, I’m still not perfect. But I’m now accomplishing much more within a day than I ever accomplished as a people pleaser. And my family, friends–and sanity–thank me for it.

To please God… to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness… to be loved by God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father in a son- it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory which our thoughts can hardly sustain. But so it is. C.S. Lewis

For further help with people pleasing, check out this great resource:

I found this book to be a GREAT source for me. It’s one you’ll want to read again.

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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

What about you?

Have you learned to stop the people pleasing? Share your Comments